Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Great Betrayal

Almost all of us have stayed in hostels/flats/apartments with our friends and then these friends become more than just friends; they become your ROOMIE ( or Flattie), a relationship more sacred than most.. I am sure you all would agree when I say that there are certain expectations that one has from his/her flatmates… The standard Flattie/Roomie JD is given below:

  • Provide home delivery of food whenever flattie/roomie goes out on his/her own

  • Pick-up/drop facilities when flattie/roomie is in need of transportation

  • Give a patient hearing when Flattie/Roomie is in a bad mood and wants to unload some frustration

  • Help tide over tight cash flow situations

  • Rescue flattie/Roomie from fights where he/she is sure to lose

  • Provide company when flattie/roomie wants to drown his/her sorrows in alcohol

  • Shopping assistance, including going to out of the world places in search of bargains, providing expert feedback on clothes selected, get different sizes of clothes when Roomie/Flattie is in the changing room, help with money to pay for the purchases, help carry the loot back home and finally, appreciate the selection during the late night fashion show at home
  • (Added on a CA-MBA working with Axis's request) One more important duty of flattie is : "He should help in patofying a girl and if the other flattie already has a gf..flattie has a moral responisbility of staying away from her"

I & my Flattie, who, till now, was the epitome of the perfect Flattie, went out shopping yesterday for a pair of track pants. As the model flatmate, I had supported him in this quest from day 1 (starting about an year back) when he thought it was high time he started working out. He STILL thinks it high time he started working out and hence the frequent shopping expeditions.
2 malls and 5 stores later and nothing to show for it, I happened to come across a “different” T-shirt that I quite fancied. So I told my Flattie that I was going to the trial room with the said item. 5 mins later, standing at the door of the trial room, I looked around for my Flattie, but he was not to be seen anywhere. So I called him on the phone, “Hey, where the %^$$# are you??” Flattie, “umm…where are you, which floor….ok ok” and he disconnects the phone. Waiting there, withstanding the malevolent glares from the people waiting for me to exit the trial room, the appreciative looks of the female shoppers ( after all I was wearing a “different” tshirt) and the irritated security guard repeatedly asking me if I was done, were the most frustrating 15 minutes in quite a while for me. I called up Flattie again, “What the hell….where are you?” Flattie,”Eh….arre yaaar…I have exited the mall man….i am waiting outside…McDoanld’s ke outlet ke pass..eating a burger..ab anndar aaane ko bahut time lagega”…BETRAYED BY MY FLATTIE…after all that I had done for him!!

This totally violates the Flat-mate Code of Conduct and point 7 of the Flatmate JD I mentioned earlier. Outraged, I denied Flattie any expert comments on the clothes he tried on from that point onwards resulting in him having to end the day empty handed. I would recommend that you too do the same to him in case he approaches any one of you for help. Am attaching the photo of the shameless betrayer here for you all to easily recognize him and save yourself the embarrassment of being left high and dry in a trial room.


Monday, April 21, 2008

1 Yr Crib

Written on one sleepless night with no internet

Sabse Peeche Hum Silk Route..& Guncha..from Mai Meri Patni Aur Woh
That’s what I am listening to right now. The songs that never fails to remind me of my days at Indore, thanks to Nehbur in D309!!
Its 1:40 AM…the time when life started on campus..the time when nostalgia strikes you in Pune, an year later.
Its been one year!!! WOW….its hard to realize how time flies, how life changes so dramatically in just such a short span of time. Its hard to believe that its been one year since THEN…
People have gotten married, people have separated, PEPOLE have got committed, people have left jobs, people have left the country, people have moved on…but… have they?
Life was much simpler back then…there was more trust..less worries..somehow the solitude made you shut out the rest of the world…we created our own little world on top of the hill…the rest was just something that was happening somewhere far far away in some other world to some other set of people…something we barely glanced through in the newspaper…and now we are IT.
IIM Indore enabled us to make friends…forge that special bond…That’s my takeaway
Senti crap..i know..but as Da would say..FIC !!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Addendum to Frustration

Someone once defined Frustration as the feeling you get when you are looking for your glasses without your glasses...
But i'll tell you what a better description would be...
Its the feeling you get when you go for a hair cut...and tell the barber to "just trim it" .........."zyaada chote mat karna bhai" and then you take off your specs, close your eyes and settle in for a relaxing haircut and head massage...AND THEN YOU OPEN YOUR EYES, PUT ON YOUR SPECS AND LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE frustration..

Monday, February 25, 2008


This is what i wrote while sitting idle at work today
Frustration- impotent rage … is an integral part of everyone’s lives…I haven’t met anyone who isn’t frustrated with something or the other…be it work…or lack of quality work, money, girl friend…or the absence of one…….the list is endless...btw….i am writing this while at work…and you guessed it right…I am writing this cos I am frustrated….nothing special to get frustrated about…just that had an unusually boring day, with nothing to do…no Internet connectivity at office…no one sending me forwards to read…..and to top it all…the IT Security team came and disabled my Minesweeper game…&*%^(()*&*&*&%$##@
What is interesting is to observe how various people handle their frustration… some smoke it off ( remember the song from Kaante? Dhuene me uddakejaane ka hoga rama re…??)….some drink it off…and some take it out on their co-workers..
I generally blow off the steam by drinking some coffee…playing minesweeper ( not possible now) and calling up my friends….but apparently everyone else was busy…so this is the only outlet possible now.
Below in the ”Before” and “After” pics is my flat mate- PP’s ,unique way of letting off steam

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Hot Chick Ratings

Revised Rating: Deepika Padukone...revised to 5/10
Reason for Revised Rating: Poor taste in men
Current Status of DP: Blacklisted
Current Hot Chick: Position Open...

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Name Trouble

Now...i understand that all of us are Global citizens....Indians at regional attachment to a large extent..and we are proud of this fact..Smug in saying.."i belong to Kerala...but then..i have never stayed there..."
How many of us think its cool to say..." well..i understand Malayalam..but cant read or write in it"?? Most of us take it as a indication of how modern/smart/above all we are..
But then this attitude can come back to bite you on the rear it did to me..

I was filling my forms for US Visa...and in the usual style..had just 10 mins left to submission time when i saw a blank saying " Please fill your name in your native tongue"!!
"Holy Crap!!" i said to myself. I didn't have a clue how to write Siby Mathew.
So i ran frantically around the office, shouting for all Mallu's to gather around and help me write my name. All this wild running and shouting resulted in 3 Mallu's in a huddle trying to draw circles on a page and telling me that this mess that looked like miniature elephants with their tails twisted around could possibly be my name!
Bloody idiots....don't even know how to write in Malayalam.....shame on them,...had i been their manager, would have definitely screwed them in the annual appraisals...
Anyway...during the course of my aforementioned frantic running around and histrionics, i had spotted a cute new chick on the floor silently smiling to herself. The eternal optimist & opportunist that i am, i asked her if she was one of my kind...and Yippee!! she was !! so we managed to pen down "Siby Ma" in Malayalam with her help...but then got stumped with the "thew"...after some frantic calls home and instructions to draw weird circles and loops and curves from my bewildered parents....we finally decided that this is what my name in Malayalam should look like!

I hope the US consulate does not have Malayalees checking my form!!

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Wine Appreciation

Wine....the drink of the classy ones..the cool ones...the studs..and so...Lallan, Minzy , Gupta and Yours Truly proceeded to a wine appreciation and tasting event one bright Sunday afternoon. Our GRAND entry, sandwiched 4 in an auto, created quite a stir in the refined environs...all full of bada bada gaddi's and gaddiwale in hats and shades. But then...screw them...we had paid for our ticket just as they had!!!
As Da would have said....."FIC"

We had some starting see..not knowing the wines....not knowing what to ask for..but then Lallan got the ball rolling with his "Livewire" act...and go getter attitude..making the guys at the counter clean his glass after every sip of some wine...and spitting and pouring away the contents every now and then..a true blue pro.

12 noon – 1 pm ( 20 odd samples): We started off well….listened to the session on wine appreciation and did all the right things…like swirling the wine, sniffing at it a lil and taking a small sip and trying to identify the walnut, pineapple, oak, orangy..fruity…and other flavors….
Gupta had not had any breakfast, so he started gobbling the complimentary bread given along with the wine. Lallan drank cos he thought wine was non alcoholic….after tasting about 10-15 wines, he started feeling funny and that's when we told him the truth. He stopped drinking and started cribbing about how hungry he was.

1pm- 3 pm( 50 odd samples): That was only for the 1st hr and about 20 odd samples..then we stopped tasting and just started drinking…. Minzy tried to show off his newly acquired knowledge on wines ( post the appreciation session) by loudly commenting on the texture and body of wines while in the earshot of some hot chicks. We loudly commented about his Insurance Salesman job :) I also won a bottle of white wine "Chenin Blanc" in the raffle. I was made to stand on the stage and give a thank you speech…which I did in "high spirits'. Was kicked off in a hurry.

3 pm- 5 pm( 30 "bada" samples): Sampling stopped and boozing started. By now, the people serving wine started recognizing us…so instead of small sample quantities, they started filling our glasses to the brim.

5:30 pm: Lallan drove me home…

Thankfully none of us were wearing IIM I stuff, so the IIM I name still stands untarnished :D